According to the Law of Flexibility, the worst kind of advice to give is the kind that wasn’t asked for in the first place.
I like to call myself a flexitarian. In other words, I eat whatever I need to stay healthy.
It’s a diet that shifts and adapts to allow me to perform at my peak as an athlete. Of course, it took me a while to figure this out. For years, I ate a purely vegan diet. Then my body started telling me that it needed more protein. I fought the need briefly but eventually went with the flow, introducing the occasional high-quality animal product -- free-range chicken, wild-caught Alaskan salmon, things like that. My body loved the shift -- and my performance skyrocketed.
That said, it was a tough call to make, and some people weren’t thrilled.
Many of my vegan fans felt I no longer had their back. In truth, nothing could be further from the truth. I’m a huge proponent of the vegan lifestyle, which is why my meal service, Tony Horton Kitchen, offers a vegan plan -- and a darned delicious one at that.
But here’s a little secret. I also stand behind my ovo-lacto vegetarian fans. And my Paleo fans. And my locavore fans. And my Mediterranean diet fans. Basically, if you’re eating a healthy diet and it’s giving you the results you want, I salute you. I’m the Grand Marshal in your nutritional parade. I can’t wait to pin a big, fat, golden dinner-plate medal on your chest. I proudly proclaim that you’ve found the Best Diet on Earth -- for you.
Here’s the trick. The “flex” in flexitarian stands for more than just being adaptable with your own food system. It’s also about being flexible with other people and giving them a break when they find their Best Diet on Earth.
In other words, your way may be the right way for you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the right way for the person next to you. If you're a Paleo, leave the macrobiotics alone. If you're a macrobiotic, leave the Paleos alone. If you're jacked up about Shakeology and vegan eating but your husband and kids like to dig into the occasional red meat, let them eat their steak. Don’t harangue them. Yes, they understand that you’re just trying to help, but according to the Law of Flexibility, the worst kind of advice to give is the kind that wasn’t asked for in the first place.
Your greatest intentions, if not well received, will ultimately turn to resentment. If you find that happening, if you’re resentful of the way others eat or they resent you, it’s time to give this law some serious thought.
I know this notion can be tricky, especially for the vegans and vegetarianswho weave ethics and morality into their eating choices. But, to paraphrase an old adage, you can lead a horse to tofu, but if the horse doesn’t eat, you don’t shove its face in the wok.
This holds especially true with vegan eating, which requires people to give up meat, something most people view as a constitutional right (for the record, the same goes with Paleos and ditching grains). Try badgering most people into not eating a hamburger, and odds are they’ll end up ordering two hamburgers next time ‘round just to prove a point. All you’ve accomplished is perpetuating the resentment I was talking about earlier.
With this in mind, your best bet is to lead by example. Do your thing, do your best at it and forget what everybody else needs unless they come to you for advice. Then you can give them an earful. It’ll happen. When you eat right and exercise, you can’t help but feel and look good. And when you feel and look good, you can’t help but exude confidence. And when you exude confidence, people will ask you for advice. That’s when you lay down your experience and knowledge to their open minds and hearts.
And that’s when you can make the biggest difference.
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